What's Different now?
This is a post to respond to, so remember that as you read.
Yesterday, I was talking to a good friend from college about his news of a son to be born in late October. So what is your first response to this news? Whats his name?
Noah, he said.
And I stopped. Its not often during the day you run across these moments, or maybe it is. Where you are reminded, something is just not right. And you say to yourself, "@#$(%" ... or sometimes I find myself just blocking it out as hard as I can so you dont have to respond to it. Like tonight at church, watching the powerpoint during the songs, and seeing a Rainbow. Yeah, God sent a rainbow after Noah's journey in the OT didn't he, and it sure applies to Noah Whaley as well. I was also pondering the life of Ira, 2 months old yesterday. I love you little man.
Its so easy to just forget it, and block it, and pretend, and move-on.... isn't it?
Tell me, whats different now for you? Have you found yourself coming across people or places or thoughts that remind of our precious Noah's life?
Ok.. I'll start, I put a visitor sticker in the front of my bible when i went up to see Noah one evening, May07,2005. One of the few times I spent alone with my nephew, reading scripture, praying, and just talking about my job and family. So everytime I open my bible, I'm reminded of his life. (Powerful statement isn't it)
Tell me more...would you? How did Noah impact your life?
posted by sirEller @ 10:39 PM
15 comments
15 Comments:
Having Noah in our lives for such a short time produces many thoughts. I have found that I cling to the verse about faith that says we hold on even when we don't see the whys. I have spent countless hours finding scripture that reassures me of God's love for us, even though He didn't let us keep Noah. I can't imagine that God hurt more, when He let Jesus die on the cross, than we have losing Noah. But I know He did and He still let Jesus go.
I look at the clouds differently now. It seems I can find Noah's face in any formation, and he is always happy.
I see daily the strength of my children as they cope, even amid the tears, and continue to praise our God even when they don't understand His ways. They trust, so I trust; they continue on, so I take the next step.
Noah will forever be a part of our lives, as each one of the cousins remind us when we see a balloon floating up to the heavens, look at the clouds together, or talk about hospitals. The hole is very large in my heart because of his absence but it is being filled daily with memories and the peace that he is whole and safe in the arms of Jesus.
Yes, Steve, I think of Noah every day too.
Ps 71:20 - Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, You will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth, you will bring me up.
v. 14-15 -But as for me I will always have hope. I will praise you more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long,
Though I know not its measure.
God cares and through Noah I see that more every day.
I didn't have the pleasure of meeting Noah, just the pleasure of Ethan, Julie and Alyssa. But yet Noah has impacted my life. I find myself wanting to know how Julie and Ethan are doing but can't seem to pick up the phone for fear that I might set some emotion off that they just got a handle on that day. My contact comes through here.
I've found that Noah has made me pray more, working on my relationship with Christ more. Noah has also made me realize that I want a loving relationship that Julie and Ethan have. Noah's life made an impact. It might not be one that you can see but an impact none the less. This little man has worked wonders in his brief time here.
Thanks to Noah I'm becoming more the me that God wanted me to be.
Julie and Ethan, keep believing, keep praying, rejoice in what your son has done even if you can't see it. He has done a lot.
Laurie
Thank you Laurie, for your openness and honesty. -steve
Its hard to explain exactly all the ways Noah's life changed mine. One thing I learned is that I can really hurt when one of my brothers/sisters in Christ is in agony. Of course I have experienced hurt for others before, but this was different somehow. As I came to the computer on a nearly hourly basis to find out how Noah was doing, I found myself alternating between tears and rejoicing. The Spirit would not let the thought of little Noah out of my mind, even though we live far away now.
I was also reminded that God doesn't always answer our prayers the way we wish. Why when we pray so boldly, with so many other believers around the globe, did he still allow Noah to die? Wouldn't it have been a greater testimony if he had lived? I have no answers here, just questions.
I also saw that even in misery and in the midst of gloom, Julie and Ethan were rock solid with each other and in their relationship to Christ. I was encouraged and stregthened by that. It was a great example of how to handle life and its many problems. Just because they were hurting and had doubts, they did not let Satan get a foothold.
As the others have mentioned, I also prayed more, especially during those days. I appreciate that most of all. Its hard to remember exactly now, but I think I prayed more during this experience than when I went through my own infertility. I guess its easier to pray for others than for yourself.
And the last thing I have learned through Noah & Baby Ira, is that there are thousands of wonderful Christians out there willing to pray on a stranger's behalf. That may be one of the best testimonies of all.
Thank you for sharing this experience with us and for continuing to do so. I check this blog daily to check on you and pray for you and your family.
Much love,
Lisa C
It does my heart such good to read your comments. I know that many of us will never forget Noah, but the blog is just not as busy as it was. Thank you for continuing to think of us and to check on us often. It is nice to read what effects Noah had on so many. Maybe, just maybe it was worth it? Don't know that I can answer that just yet. I would love to have Noah right here in my lap as I work on the computer, but I am thankful that if he had to go, God showed me things he did in his short life.
Thank you all for loving us.
Julie
Noah's life changed my heart forever. I have been so challenged and amazingly encouraged by following your journey. The testimony to unity in Christ has been beautiful. I have been reminded that our children truly belong to the Lord... when it's easy and when it is hard. He is our creator and our reason and although we don't understand we believe and trust He is in control.
Bridget
Julie ~
When I heard about baby Noah, my heart went out to you. And I don't know if I ever really got all of it back. It's strange how much this has affected me. I suppose it has something to do with the birth of my own son so close to that of Little Noah. I felt like I could so easily put myself there and wondered why you - Why not me? Why him - Why not my sweet boy? And part of it is that I still hold you so close to my heart. And my heart truly broke for you. I think of you so often and pray that God continues to give you the strength to somehow get through this.
I think for me, I got a total appreciation for what I have with my own children, as selfish as that may seem. I vowed to do my very best to never take a day or moment for granted with them. And it reminded me how vital the church is with their upbringing. How I need to make sure that they put God first. And that I need to do my best to help mold them into what He wants them to be and help develop the relationship they need with Christ. I also feel that I myself now have a stronger relationship with Christ. I feel that I can depend on Him more and use Him as my Rock. And accept what has been given me in life knowing that I have Him right next to me guiding me through.
You and Ethan and Steve have all proved to me that putting your faith in Him completely will get you through the hardest and most troubling of days and situations. I honestly can't think of anything harder than what you all have had to endure. And through all of that, your faith appears to be even stronger.
You are all such an amazing inspiration.
Thank you,
Brandy W.
Julie,
The picture you have added of Noah is so precious. Thank you for sharing this glimpse of God's handiwork.
Lee Anne D
I have been pondering for days how to put into words what precious Noah's life has meant to me. I remember the day a beautiful, caring friend introduced me to Noah and he captured my heart immediatly. My heart feels that I know you, Julie and Ethan, but we have never met face to face. Noah is one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. Every picture I have viewed of him I see the peace of God. Because of Noah, I was able to witness, first hand, the power of the Church. I saw the Body of Christ functioning as God intended. My faith increased because of Noah. I KNOW God heard the thousands of prayers, the tears, the shouts and I know He hears us now. It is wonderful that Steve asked us to put into words how we, the Body of Christ, has grown because of the life of Noah Whaley. I may never know how to express what precious Noah did for my faith, but God knows. Please be comforted, encouraged, and find peace in the knowledge that because of your son, lives will not be the same. He made a mighty impact on my heart. Thank you for sharing him with so many.
You are loved.
Ali D.
Ali, thank you. That is exactly what I needed to hear.
The comment above did not come from Noah's Aunt Ali, but I have something to add.
Noah's life impacted mine and so many others that I know. I was constantly checking the blog, calling my mom, Ethan and Julie for the latest news, and driving to and from TCH. I can't even remember those days not in terms of Noah. I have no idea what I wore, what I ate, what other meaningless chores or tasks I undertook. And, I know I went to work, but my days were not spent working. Noah's life temporarily consumed mine. I think it did that for more people than we will ever count. I hope that his life continues to impact others' in the same way for a long time to come. It is different now that we know the outcome of the journey, but his testimony (and that of his family) will continue to rescue the lost and the waivering. Anyone who reads the powerful thoughts of Ethan and Julie during those days and doesn't want to know their Lord, is truly missing out on the purpose of life. I hope that this blog stays available to unassuming strangers that might happen upon it, read its contents, and fall to their knees in prayer.
I had surgery two weeks ago and Alyssa and Julie (and Donna) came to see me at the hospital. Alyssa wanted so badly to sit on the bed with me (I can only assume to comfort me while I hurt). When I came home, she came to visit again and said, "You came home from the hospital." I am so happy for those words, but I only wish we had been able to say them to Noah. E& J - I still cry those painful tears. I miss him, too. But I am so grateful to have and proud to be a part of your loving, faithful, inspirational family. I love you guys.
Aunt Ali
Noah made me think about how fragile our existances are. How we love to plan and see our plans out just the way we want them to be. How God is still with us. I believe these things happen because we live in this world. How God wouldn't want a baby to die and a parent to grieve. How Satan uses earthly tragedies when we are weak living in this sinful world. How when Christ comes back, He will win. How I want to be on His side. That Christ loves us so much that He made it possible to beat in the end Satan and his mean, wicked ways. How some Christians don't understand it's the evil ones desire to see us suffer, not God's. And how God uses our suffering times to help us grow and change and hopefully be more like Him. He didn't cause it, but through His love, He can make good things come out of it. And how that is the only way we let anything good come out of such a yucky card Satan deals us. How we win when we don't let him take hold of us. How we are already saved as Christians and even if Satan taunts us with thoughts of hate or doubt there are people out there with God's love in their hearts like Ethan and Julie, so deep that Satan can't have their souls. That they shout out with their faith they choose God. And how I want to be like them. And how I will pray to make their hearts whole again. That picture of Noah is just beautiful. What a sweet angel boy.
Chad & Ashley Baker emailed us about your sweet Noah when he was born - they sent out emails to a bunch of people asking us to pray. My husband and Chad are cousins. We've been following your blog since then. Haven't known much what to do except pray for you and think about you and keep track of what's going on. We have four children - ages 9, 6, 10 months, and one to be born in Feb 2006, so this hits close to home.
To answer your question of how did Noah's life affect us, and I'd say how does it continue to affect us, I'll say that it reminded us that God doesn't make mistakes. That there are no accidents. Every child that has ever existed has been specifically formed and molded by our Creator, and every child has a purpose and value.
Even when - especially when - we can't understand the pain - why babies are sick, or why lives are short - even then we still know that God is perfect, and good, and right. He knows exactly what's going on, He knows why, He knows what He's doing. And someday we will know all the details, too. All pain will be gone. All sickness. All death. Gone, gone, gone. Only joy, and worship, and love will exist.
I don't have any words of comfort because I cannot begin to imagine the depth of pain you are experiencing. But I do know that God made Noah, that He sent him to your arms at just the right time and place, and that his life has had a far-reaching impact. Of all the families in the world, He chose your family to receive Noah, to love him, to be part of him.
We draw strength from reading about your family, to see your steadfast faith but also to see your honesty and your wrestling and your doubts and struggles and anger. You're not trying to paint a perfect, have-it-all-together picture that none of us can live up to. You are open and real and it helps to shore us up, to strenghten us, and make our faith deeper. Maybe someday this will happen to us. If so, your family has shown us how to rely on the Lord, how to struggle with Him, how to cling to Him, how to give Him honor and praise even in the most horrible of circumstances.
I found a scripture a few months ago when a family member went through a miscarriage. I hadn't known of this verse before, but since then it has reappeared in several circumstances.
"Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind.
But be glad and rejoice forever in what I will create, for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight and its people a joy.
I will rejoice over Jerusalem and take delight in my people; the sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more.
Never again will there be in it an infant who lives but a few days, or an old man who does not live out his years; he who dies at a hundred will be thought a mere youth; he who fails to reach a hundred will be considered accursed.
They will build houses and dwell in them; they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit.
No longer will they build houses and others live in them, or plant and others eat. For as the days of a tree, so will be the days of my people; my chosen ones will long enjoy the works of their hands.
They will not toil in vain or bear children doomed to misfortune; for they will be a people blessed by the LORD, they and their descendants with them.
Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.
The wolf and the lamb will feed together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox, but dust will be the serpent's food. They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain," says the LORD.
Isaiah 65:17-25
We will keep you all in our thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Brad & Brandynn Stanford
Maelan, Robin, Gideon, & baby
It has been over a month since I visited this blog (but that doesn't mean you've been out of my prayers, Ethan and Julie), and I just read everything I've missed, tears streaming down my face all the while. Steve, your challenge to us is interesting. I have most definitely been impacted by Noah's life and the reactions of Ethan, Julie and the extended family. I don't know if I can put it into words and I'm intimidated by the eloquence of so many others who've written on this blog, particularly Ethan & Julie. But if it's at all encouraging to anyone to know that others have been impacted by Noah's life, I want you to know that I most definitely have been.
I wonder just how many lives have been changed in some way? I can't imagine any FCCC member that has not heard of it and been touched, so there's probably 1000+ right there. Then many of them tell their friends and family, who in turn tell their friends and family, and they all read the blog and are impacted as well. Are we talking tens of thousands? Hundreds of thousands? As with so many things surrounding Noah, only God knows how many have been changed, but I think it's got to be an amazing number.
Thank you all for your openness and honesty in sharing your most personal thoughts in what has got to be as difficult of an ordeal as any person can ever face. I will continue to pray for God's peace and grace for you.
In Christ,
Denise Cummings
I thank you for having this blog. I have just come across your story and I ache for you. I was reading your anniversary is May 29, 1999. So is mine. Thank you for helping me remember that life is precious and that we should treasure what life we have. Even when I'm up all night with a crying child, or holding a sick one, life is precious.
I don't know you, but I love you and I pray for you.
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